What is God to you?

A good friend of mine, who happens to be an atheist, asked me this question last night:

"What is God to you?"

Here was my answer:

"The answer to that question changes a lot over the course of my life.  He is what I need him to be at the time, but in retrospect I find he's always been all of these things I've needed combined.  And when I say "what I need him to be", I don't mean I'm like, "hey, God, be a pizza delivery guy, my stomach's growling," or "hey Jesus can you just tell me that what I'm doing is okay so I don't feel bad?"  I mean he is what I need in the ways that I don't even know I need at the time.

For example, last spring, I would only call God "daddy" when praying because I had, by no fault of his own, an insufficient relationship with my dad.  I desperately needed to feel protected, loved, and taken care of, therefore I saw God as a father figure.  I'm still in a place where I need all that, but as my relationship with my dad continues to improve and my life changes, my relationship with God develops into a new stage.  I'm not even entirely certain what he is becoming to me now, but I'm sure a year from now I'll look back and know.

Another example of that is that when I was 12, I was suicidal.  I seriously considered killing myself multiple times.  But then I really started developing a relationship with God, and at that time he was my reminder that I had purpose.  That there was a plan for my life, that I was going to make a difference to people and matter to them.  That was the biggest revelation in my life that took away my suicidal thoughts.  At that time I needed to know I was important and that in mattered whether I lived or died.  If the Lord hadn't made that clear to me, I'm sure I would've killed myself before turning 14.

So, all that to say, sometimes he's my guide, my father, my friend, my brother, my king, my provider, etc.  But whichever role he's fulfilling in my life, he's always exactly what I need."

I am very thankful that this friend is comfortable asking me questions like this.  It definitely made me think.

His response was kind and respectful:

"That's really neat.  I'm not being sarcastic.  Like that's genuinely awesome that you have that.  I feel like we are both intelligent, open-minded people and can have deep discussions without getting mad.  I respect you and your religious views.  If all Christians were like you, that'd be sweet."

Do I think that what I said is going to make him come to Christ?  No.  But I love the way that a simple question from an atheist that I have befriended can make me think and have a very real spiritual experience.  God works in the coolest ways.  It is my prayer for you that you are open to those who are different from you so that God may work in these ways within you and your relationships as well.

God bless!

Krista

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

The other day, I was having a discussion with a good friend who is going through some heartache.  I could certainly relate.  This is what I said;

"I know what it's like to be ripped to shreds by someone.  To be left wondering what went wrong and how they could walk away from a relationship so seemingly perfect.  And to wonder if they'll ever see it the way you did and come back.  I'm still healing from a love like that.  The kind where you deserve to hate the person, but your stupid heart won't let you want anything but the best for them.  And you just want them to say or do something that will erase all the hurt and make it okay.

But I realized something recently: nothing will ever make it okay.  Even if they came back to you, they'd never be able to erase that hurt and the effects it's had on your life.  And there are no words that can undo what you've gone through the past year without them.

But the saving grace in all of this is that the very hurt they caused has left behind a scar that changed who we are.  It had a permanent effect on us and because of it we've become someone we never would have otherwise become.  And I like that scar.  I like who I am because of it.

And in the midst of all of that pain, I can read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 and know that I must be doing something right, because I couldn't possibly hurt like this without first loving like that."

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.