I am Still Honest

Sometimes I still text Zach, just to tell him that I still love him that day.  Maybe he hates that.  I wouldn't know, he never replies.  But I'm glad that I do it, because I'm not going to pretend like he isn't still my first choice.  Logically, the two of us just cannot be together.  But my heart longs for him.

I am discovering, through this, that I am still an honest person.  People ask me how I'm handling the break up, and I'm straightforward about it; it sucks, but it is what it is.

I find hope in leaving nothing unsaid.  I would hate to wake up one morning and think to myself, "Why didn't I tell him?"

Today, I told him this; "I will always stand up for you in any opportunity I can.  Not just because I am still madly in love with you, but because you deserve it.  No matter what anyone ever says or thinks about you, please know that I find you to be a wonderful person worthy of love and respect.  I have been praying for you, Zachary.  You are still the object of my adoration.  Today and every day I will adore you for who you are and who you have been, and who we were together."

I don't know if he even received it.  Again, no reply.  And maybe doing this makes me one of those stalkerish ex-girlfriends, but I don't care.  He deserves to know that he is wonderful.  I will always be honest with him about that.