I Still Have a Home

"If we are growing, we are always going to be out of our comfort zone."

I finally did it.  I went home.

I realized fairly early last week that it was time to face my fears, before home became something too distant for me to reach again.  So, home I came.  My wonderful mother had rearranged my bedroom to help dispel the memory of Zach that lives there.  That memory will always live there, but she has no idea how much of a help it was.

Going home wasn't easy.  I knew it wasn't going to be.  I dreamed about Zach all Friday night, and when I woke up Saturday morning, I had to take a few minutes to remind myself that he and I are no longer an "us".  I allowed myself to shed a few tears, thanked God for what He had given me, and then shook myself off, got up, and put a smile on.  And from that point on, the day was mine, and what a good day it was.  I spent time with dear old friends, and reconnected with someone who I never knew would become such a vital part of my life again.  Then on Sunday, I spent a few beautiful hours with a group of friends that I used to spend all of my time with.  I forgot just how much fun we all have together.  It was perfect.  The old gang is getting back together, and it's gonna be quite a ride.

All this to say that I am healing.  My wounds are closing.  And though I know that they will leave scars that will last a lifetime, and that maybe when I finally see him again those wounds will open back up, but I think it's safe to say that the worst is over.  He has moved on, and I know who he is now with.  And, honestly, I am not mad.  I love them both so dearly, and I hope things go well for them.  In the end, I just want Zach to find happiness, and to find his completeness in Christ.  So, it's time for me to move on, too.

"Move on.  It's just a chapter in the past, but don't close the book- just turn the page."

It is time for a new chapter to begin.

My God is Enough <3